After an anti-climactic end to Episode 2 of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 3 hints at more drama to come between the Guidices and the Gorgas. We start with the inevitable rehash of the snoozie confrontation between Kathy and Teresa, and Kathy’s husband playing the part of The Voice of Reason. Kathy laments the bad impression she made at the Brownstone, and now has to go about befriending Caroline after the embarrassing incident with Teresa.

Do I hear a nasal voice in the second scene? Yes! Teresa is back shilling her cookbook. Taking a page from Real Housewives of New York alum and legitimate success, Bethany Frankel, Teresa sashays into a kitchen of chefs and a Terry Richardson look alike of a photographer (seriously, that mustache is freaking me out). After nitpicking photos of “her” recipes, Teresa announces a second book entitled, wait for it, “Fabulicious.” Get it? It’s fabulous AND delicious! In the same breath she drops two more gems, “ingrediences” and pronouncing cumin as “cummin’.”

In an unfortunate segue from “cummin’”/cumin, we learn that Joe gets pissy if his wife doesn’t put out at his command. Lovely. She explains the lack of sex (a whole 3 days) is due to the fashion show stress, and it’s time for rehash #2 of the non-frontation. Looks like two things didn’t climax that night, am I right?

During moving day for the Manzo boys, Aunt Jacqueline, who in the previous scene paid a psychic to tell her everything we know, brings a stripper pole. Plus one for Auntie J! The bros settle in and discuss forgotten daughter Lauren’s plans to get engaged and move out. These people are so damn boring they had to bring in a long lost gay friend to add some fun. And a dog. Still boring. Jacqueline brings some spice to the clan with a dramatic past that clearly had an effect on her ne’er do well daughter, Ashley. Ergo, rather than blaming her spoiled spawn for her lack of worth ethic, Jacqueline cites a broken home for her issues. If I was born 5 years later, would I have zero accountability too?

In the theme of amend-making, Kathy comes bearing flowers at chez Manzo to try and smooth over the brief scuffle at The Brownstone. Rehash #3! Caroline says what’s on all our minds and blurts out, “I don’t care” while putting on The Voice of Reason hat and reminding Kathy that her issues with Teresa are her own.

From naked kids bathing at the Gorgas’ (ed. note: wrong), we’re back to a pouting Kathy disappointed…. until her husband surprises her with a brand new Benz in the driveway! Wounds are easily mended with hunks of German metal in the land of New Jersey. Oh and clothes, as Teresa, Jacqueline and Caroline remind us while ransacking a boutique in the city. Teresa gem #3, “I used to work in the fashion industry… I worked at Macy’s.” Priceless. Somewhere in the crowing there’s another rehash of the christening, and The Voice of Reason has to step in with Jacqueline taking up the solution caboose. C’mon ladies, listen to Caroline at all times!

Did Joe Gorga just equate lack of sex to popping a white head? I’ve never been so happy for a quick cut to commercial.

In the waning minutes of the show, Teresa and Jacqueline put their handful of braincells together to draft the letter to bro Joe with Jacqueline insisting Teresa bring up Melissa. Red flag! That woman is a bronzed landmine. Fast forward to a table full of discarded letters and an exhausted brain trust. Has anyone met a man that likes to read, let alone a diminutive man with a serious Napoleon complex? Joe immediately blows up at just the sight of the note (not a good sign), and the letter doesn’t seem to do much smoothing with the stubborn baboon bro. Melissa insists on a meeting, closing the show and setting up for a dramatic duel Thanksgiving showdown. Dun dun dun…